Feel better now, Trish? ;) 
 
 
 
I love the corporate marketspeak the sender used to describe his product. It still amazes me how many companies use this type of approach when explaining their product or service.  
 
 
 
Cheers! 
 
Kelley

Good morning 
 
Although I'm French, up to my knowledge, this message is not written in English, but in Globish, the worldwide language of globalization. Probably issued by an offshore company for a cheap email blast, ignoring the spell checking function. It also does not mention the ability to be removed of their database if you do not wish to receive further emails (Individual data protection). 
The (poor) end result as you said is like shooting with a machine gun to catch a butterfly ...  
 
Regards 
 
Michel 

Trish - I loved the idea of a rant and took the liberty of posting my own rant here: http://www.customerstrategists.com/2010/04/worst-sales-call-ever-rant.html 
 
I'm sure I can gather up 15 emails just like yours - all failing at one or all of the items you mentioned - but I think mine was ultimately worse because mine was from a company that I actually do business with! 
 
Anyways - thanks for the idea of a rant! 
 
Sherwin

Trish, I hate to one-up you but you asked for it. We just got this email yesterday and I forwarded it not only to my team as an example of what NOT to do but also to the CEO of Salesforce.com. They had a call with this person later that day and we even received an apology because this email was so unprofessional. Here goes: 
 
 
 
-----Original Message----- 
 
> From: no-reply@salesforce.com [mailto:no-reply@salesforce.com] On 
 
> Behalf Of Insert Name Here 
 
> Sent: Monday, April 26, 2010 12:28 PM 
 
> To: Business.com VP of Sales 
 
> Subject: Blah for Salesforce.com 
 
>  
 
> Patricia, 
 
> Please pick up my call the next time I try. 
 
>  
 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yyc0FRDLY 
 
>  
 
>www.blah.com 
 
>  
 
> Insert Name Here 
 
> COO 
 
> ----------------------------------------- 
 
> Blah, Inc. 
 
> Beverly Hills, CA 90211 
 
> ----------------------------------------- 
 
> (310) xxx-xxxx 
 
> name@blah.com 
 
>www.blah.com 
 

@ Kelley. I do feel better. Thank you for asking! 
 
@Michel. I wish it was a Globish issue but no I called the company and this is from a US based sales rep. 
 
@Sherwin. Your rant is awesome and so on point! BTW, there is a whole other rant to be written about the companies that are shooting themselves in the foot buy blocking their company names on caller id. For another day perhaps.... 
 
@Kevin. Yours is worse - unbelievable. You win!

Awesome! Thanks for giving me a good laugh today. Wished now I had saved some of my dozies! And I don't agree that this a "globish" - know your audience, (especially if you're selling to marketing people)

Trish, 
 
I got the same email (with the font problems etc etc). I happen to be interested in these kind of tools so I actually responded saying "Let me know a bit more of what kind of partnership please." Since I actually had no idea from the email what he really wanted. 
 
The email I got back was "Thank you for your email. I was thinking of a referral partnership that is mutually beneficial to the both of us." 
 
I still have no clue what he wants. 
 
I think he may be using the "Sales Book of Cliches" for his emails or there is not really a person back there at all. Remember the cartoon "On the Internet nobody knows you're a dog"? I beginning to wonder on this one... 
 
Nigel

Wow. So true. I get so much of this crap every day, all of it is "mark as Spam" in my email box - because I never opt-ed in with their company, they just grabbed my email from a database or something. 
 
From the description of the company, I think I know who it is... Scary that they resorted to crap like this.

Trish- 
 
Thanks for the insight. I immediately opened my Sent mail and self-assessed the last 10 I sent. I'd give myself a B- (not enough of a relate, product links to soon in the msg, etc).  
I also used it during training for a customer that uses Hoover's (they leverage our email tool) as an example of what to do, and what not to do when using email. 
One thing that still concerns me with marketing automation, is that Marketing (in particular product marketing) still controls the messaging. So sometimes a sales person, may find their name (and their BRAND) associated with something you never had control over in the first place.  
The email above doesn't seem to have come from a nurturing campaign so there's little excuse for this particular person, but it's still an important reason why sales need to have more input and control over the marketing automation process.

Here is a gem that has been forwarded around my company for the past two years. the author actually forwarded this to a co-worker as an example of a "strong" intro email. (Incredibly, the guy still works here) 
 
 
 
 
 
Dear Bill,  
 
I would like to introduce myself as I will be your secondary account manager. I look forward to learning more about your company and products to better help you in the future.  
 
 
 
XYZco. is the number 1 product and service provider in the country and that is all thanks to all of are value added services and dedication to our customers. One of are biggest value adds is are technical specialists, and direct partner ships with the top vendors including, HP, Cisco, Microsoft, IBM, Blackberry, witch are not limited to.  
 
 
 
I also noticed you paid full price for the items you purchased in the past most of witch are tapes. As your account manager I am dedicated to making sure I offer the best pricing available to you. I took it upon myself to contact Alan and find out how I may be able to work with you and Bobby; I would also like to create logins for Bobby and Phil on your XYX.com site with discounted pricing and to show you the value that can be offered. The web site offers many unique abilities for you and your other contacts that benefit each of you in different ways. 
 
 
 
I understand Phil’s role and do not want to inconvenience him but I would like to get him set up online also. Speaking to you will revile the key points and benefits for you and him as far as monitoring, security, and control on the web site. 
 
 
 
I hope when we speak I can have a chance to show you how XYX.com can be here to help you rather then just sell to you. I will always try to find the best solution for you during a project even if that means conference calling my hardware, software, telephony, services, power, storage, voice & data, ext (Specialists); to offer a more logical and cost affective way to achieve your goal. 
 
 
 
I look forward to talking to you. >Kenny 
 
 
 
PS: I will follow up with a call this afternoon to speak with you. 
 

@Dennis H - You are correct....what a gem!

I have a question. This is a problem I am struggling with right now. How do I write a good introductory email? I'm calling and emailing prospects 3 times before I leave them alone for a couple months.  
 
What i the best way to write an introductory email that spark interest. What is the objective of the introductory email?

@Daniel. Introductory emails are hard but before we discuss that let me say that you are not attempting enough "touches" before you give up on your prospect. The average # of touches required to get someone to respond is 8. Now, not all of them should come from you but at least 1/2 should with marketing's nurturing programs picking up the rest. 
 
Mike Damphousse from Green Leads talked about introductory emails at the recent AAISP meeting. He said the best emails have 3 paragraphs and that you limit each paragraph to one sentence if possible. The last paragraph is an open ended question ie "Daniel, are you available to meet with me in the next two weeks?" and you send the email at 3pm. 
 
Sounds easy until you try to craft the email. Remember, all you are trying to do with this outreach is arouse curiousity and close on the next step. Email is not the place to show up and throw up. 
 
Hope this helps!

@trish bertuzzi 
 
Thanks very much for your help. I'm applying this today. 
 
Side question. Are you serious about the 3pm thing? Does that seem to increase the likelyhood of response?

At least it stands out from the crowd

The only thing that makes sense (looking at the original marketing email) is that it's a sloppy bot post. Your email address got harvested, and a generic form was sent out. 
 
The thing about that is the sheer laziness of it. A competent marketing agency should be able to write code that can actually trawl your site, use an intelligent word-matching database to determine what it is you actually do, and create a well-worded message that - while it would still be machine generated - would at least read as though it had been written by a person with a cursory knowledge of your business. 
 
Really, really poor craftsmanship.

Hi everyone, you all seem to have some pretty good advice. I am planning to send this email soon...any input? 
 
 
Hi Jim,  
 
I work for a marketing automation company called_____. As part of our new product release we are running a promotion for companies similar to [company name].  
 
We recently helped one of our clients within the travel industry by giving them the power to reach their customers through more timely, relevant and targeted communications. As a result we helped them expand their business.  
 
I noticed that you are in charge of marketing at [company name] so I wanted to speak with you about this opportunity. Are you available to chat some time next week? 

Hi Sam, 
Not a bad email - but it is very "I/We" heavy. 
 
Take a look at some of what Jill Konrath has shared about SNAP Selling.  
 
Here's a PDF I think you will find valuable: http://www.rareagent.com/rareAgent_Value%20Prop%20Generator.pdf Good Selling!